LOVE

Hi! My name is Stacie, and it's been 9 months since my last blog post.
It was very much a gestation period, a development of something over time. A development of a better version of myself. When I embarked on this yoga journey I didn't quite know what to expect. I had a few ideas, especially since chatting with my sister who recently graduated from her yoga teacher training. I knew I would learn more about the asanas, more about anatomy. I would learn about the Yoga Sutras, and the philisophical teachings. I even knew I would learn more about myself. However, this journey to the self through the self, was more than I could anticipate.

I graduated from my 200 hour yoga teacher training today, but what I received was beyond a certificate of completion. I received, Love, Kindness, Compassion, Support, Friendship, Healing, Hugs, and every other cliche mushy thing you can bring to mind. Driving home tonight in the rain, which matched my streaming tears, I was contemplating this part of my journey that never ends, and I knew I needed to write something. We cried a lot today. I kind of feel drained, but overflowing at the same time. Overflowing with gratitude for this experience, and everyone that was a part of it. These random people from all walks of life came together as a tribe, and get ready for us because we are spreading the LOVE!

I feel so many things right now. Honored to teach, and excited to learn more. Sad that it is over, but overjoyed that I have so many new friends in my life. Exhausted from practice, but energized by the hearts that shared. Eager for what is next, yet safe in my present moment. Mostly, what I feel is love and appreciation in my heart. It is this love that I will take with me, and when I forget because some days will suck, I hope know I will find my way back because there are so many in my circle to light the way.
Like the Grinch, my heart grew three sizes today.

Stay tuned.....for the next episode.

Peace,
Stacie

Another Journey Begins

February of last year, just after turning 40 I started a daily yoga practice. This wasn't my first time on the mat, I had been to many classes over the past 15 years, but this particular studio, and this particular yoga teacher connected with me on another level which I had never felt before. Even though she's about half may age, I was inspired, excited, motivated, refreshed, and content in this space. Every morning I looked forward to that 9:30 am class. I felt a difference in my day when my jobs, life made it impossible to attend. If I could I would go to the evening class instead, but sometimes I couldn't even do that. My frustration tolerance was very low without yoga. I would do yoga at home too, but it's not the same. Not doing yoga sometimes feels like not brushing your teeth. You can live with it, but it doesn't feel good, and you want to avoid other people.

Something else happened. I decided I wanted, no, NEEDED to breathe like a normal person. I am worth the oxygen. :) I was never able to fully breathe thorough my nose, for as long as I could remember. My biggest fear as a kid growing up (no lie) was being kidnapped and my my mouth duct taped shut! I would certainly die! I must have watched too may horrible movies where that happened. Because yoga asks you to breathe, to infuse your body with prana, or life force, it was no longer okay to be a mouth breather and get by.  I felt like I was cheating by not breathing through my nose, even though I was physically unable to do so. I won't even get into my attempts at pranayama. Previous visits to Ear, Nose and Throat doctors offered prescription drugs, and allergy shots. One doctor said I had a deviated septum that could be fixed with surgery. Oddly enough, no one actually looked inside my nose. Never thought to get a second opinion. Then, a teenager, none of this was enticing so I decided to live with my inability. No way was I going to get rid of my pets either. Certain times I did resort to medication, usually when I couldn't stop sneezing, but they didn't do anything for my nose. Fast forward to this year, on my mat in a forward fold trying to inhale through my nose to no avail. I started to feel inadequate, and began the negative self talk that we all sometimes fall prey to. "This sucks!" "Why can't I be normal?" "I hate my nose!" But yoga did something else, it made me want to change, it made me take responsibility for my health, it made go to the doctor's again, it made me hope that just maybe, something could be done.  So it goes, the doctor took one look inside my nose, and said that I was full of polyps. So much so that they were ready to grow out my nose! I think he may have been kidding, but you get the idea. He put me on Prednisone for 3 weeks, but it didn't really do much. All those years that I left my allergies untreated, apparently caused the polyps to form over time.....so he says. Fast forward, I had surgery to remove these ghastly polyps that prevented sweet air from flowing through my nasal passages, and today I am a new yogi! I can inhale through my nose, even when I am in a forward fold, or a handstand! It's absolutely glorious. The down side, of course because there always is one, is cleaning the litter box sucks more, and he wants me to take a daily nasal spray for prevention.....we'll see.

All this to say, at the age of 41, I will be taking a Yoga Teacher Training this Summer, and will be teaching at my favorite yoga studio. I can only be grateful, and humbly appreciate my teacher believing in me, and guiding me on this journey. I am ready to know myself, I accept the challenge. The studio is Live Yoga in Danielson, CT. My teacher is Jessi Marino, you can find her on Facebook and Instagram. 

My goal is to eventually teach prenatal yoga, as there is a great need in my area. And since a girl can dream, open a studio with my awesome sister in law. She will graduate from her Yoga Teacher Training next month. Yay!!! When yoga finds you, you just want to spread the LOVE! 

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net