Three cats gone in three weeks....

Maybe writing about my felines will help me heal. My family is heartbroken because all three of our cats died in a span of three weeks. I'm not kidding! How and why such a thing would happen is beyond me. I believe things happen for a reason, but the reason for this kind of loss is a hard one to grasp. About my kitties-

Josie was a skinny but beautiful tabby cat that was given to me many years ago from one of my best friends. At the time my friend had 8 cats, and they all hated Josie. We summised that it was because she was a supermodel kitty, and they hated her because she was beautiful.  My husband was her preferred human, but she would allow me to pet her when he wasn't around. She didn't care much for my girls, and would swat them if they walked by her too quickly.  Josie was positive for Hepatitis, 17 years old, rail thin, and slept most of the time. So when she was found on the couch by me June 3rd dead, it wasn't a surprise. The fact that she lasted as long as she did is amazing.

Cleopatra, or Cleo was a gorgeous Maine Coon cat that I found at my cousin's house. She was hanging around there for weeks, and no one was looking for her. When I stopped by my cousin's house on New Year's Eve this year she was on the porch. I picked her up and she started to purr, and went I put her down and got into my car, she jumped into my lap! I called my husband that instant to "ask" if I could take a cat home, promising to find her rightful home, or a new home. Obviously, that didn't happen because we kept her and loved her. She proved to be a great mouser which caused me some stress because of the tormenting, and playing with the mice. I'd prefer a quick end to their life, not injury and suffering. We kept her indoors, but as soon as Spring came she was sneaking outside with the dogs, and it became a never ending battle that I gave up on.  June 15th as I was leaving to pick my girls up from school, I saw her in the road. Death by car. I couldn't bear to look at her, and cried my eyes out while driving, and tried to compose myself to pick up the girls. The tears came again quickly as I told them that she was no longer with us. Luckily, my neighbor got her for me, and put her in a box. We buried her on the side of Josie.

Sebastian, or Sebbie as we called him, was a handsome Egyptian Mau given to me by friends of a friend (the same friend that gave me Josie). I'm told he was a result of a spending spree on expensive pure bred animals that led to too many, so they needed to downsize.  He was a different kind of cat. When he walked out of his carrier that first day, he just kind of layed down all chill and stretched like he lived here all his life. Super affectionate he loved attention by anybody, even the dogs. I think he thought he was a dog. His head was cocked to the side from ear polyps that he had removed, so I liked to call him crooked kitty because his head still tended to the side.  He was my youngest daughter's favorite pet, and he often slept in her bed. His favorite things to do was to bask in the sun on the deck, and sit in the front yard by the rock wall waiting patiently to pounce on chipmunks.  He also had this great purr, in Egyptian Maus they have what is called a chortle that he would do when he was very happy. Everyone that visited us loved Sebbie, and wanted him as he curled up on their lap, purred loudly, and stared lovingly at them with his green eyes.  He didn't come in last night, and I was concerned because he always came in at night. I waited until 12:30 before going to bed. I got a call at 6 am this morning that there was a cat under my neighbor's car and she didn't know if it was mine. In my heart I knew it was him. His back legs were limp, and I had a sinking feeling. Off to the vets, and they confirmed that it was a spinal cord injury and a grim prognosis. I agreed to euthanize him. My girls were with me, and we said our tearful goodbyes.

That's my sad story. I no longer have cats. I've never in my life not had cats. It will feel weird, but I think a break is needed. I still have three dogs (knock on wood). If I am meant to have anymore cats, I am sure they will find me....they always do. My youngest is having a hard time because he was "her cat", and she really misses him.  She wants to get kittens and teach them to be indoor only cats. Time will tell. Rest in Peace Josie, Cleo, and Sebbie.

Happy Birthday!

Tomorrow my baby will be seven! Seriously, where has the time gone? I want to share her birth story because since becoming a doula, I have learned that sharing positive birth stories can benefit others, especially those young impressionable girls whose only idea or knowledge of childbirth is what they see on TV (and we know how that goes). 
I have a best friend, and when I was pregnant with baby number 2 she was living in Florida where she started to volunteer as a doula in a hospital program. For the longest time I thought she was "adoula" LOL! I used to call her and ask what is it that you're called again? I asked if she wanted to attend my birth and she flew up the week I was due. I can't remember the days exactly, but at some point I tried to get labor going because she wasn't going to stay indefinitely.  I did all the things that one would call "old wives tales"- relaxing massage, sex with orgasm, walked, spicy food, and an enema, pretty much in that order.  And so around 10 pm that night contractions started, and I made everyone go to bed. I took a shower, played music in the baby's room while I tried to relax all the while thinking "what was I thinking" I didn't want labor anymore! But those contractions kept coming.  Around midnight they were 5 minutes apart so I woke everyone so we could get ready to head to the hospital. But when I told my husband they were 5 minutes apart he panicked, and started rushing around. I was totally calm, talking, not in much pain but he was acting like I was about to push! It was a rainy night, and we had to get my 2 year old to Grammy's house. Of course, my husband drove too fast despite my protest that he settle down. And guess what? We got pulled over for speeding! I recall his impatience with the officer "my wife is in labor!" No ticket, but he was told to watch his speed.  Big sister was dropped off, and to the hospital we go. I did the whole triage deal, and was found to be 2 cm...crap! But I knew it, he was going crazy for nothing. So we walk the halls, stopping for contractions. I didn't like being touched, or spoken to- I'm an internal, go to my happy place kind of birther. So my friend and doula was chatting with my husband. The moment that their chatter annoyed me was when I knew I was further along, and so back we went to get checked. My midwife checked me, and reported that I was 5cm, yay! Active labor, so we could finally get to the Birthing Suite and the jacuzzi!!!!  Once I got into that water I was a different woman. I would laugh in between my contractions, and participate in the conversation. During contractions I just breathed and imagined myself opening.  At some point I got out of the tub, and squatted during a contraction with my husband on one side and doula on the other. The midwife was going to break my water- I was 9cm at this point, but she couldn't break it! I remember my doula saying that babies born in the caul (still in the sac) are said to be angels from heaven. I don't know when my water broke, but it must have been shortly after. I really think that if the midwife didn't fool around with that amniohook, she would have been born in the caul, because she is an angel. When it was time to push I flashed back to my first birth. I was in the same room, and it was the same time of day. I told everyone that big sister was born at 5:40 am, and midwife exclaimed that she didn't think I'd push this one out by then. Maybe I was determined because when she finally arrived, and I looked at the clock I yelled it's 5:40!!! That morning my 8lb 13oz Gemini born with the Moon in Cancer came earthside, so peaceful and full of light, and she is still shining.We brought her home on Father's Day. I count myself lucky to have her, as she has taught me so much just like her big sister. It has always been a hope of mine to have two girls, because I wanted sisters (because I didn't and wished I did). How great to have what you wish. I thank my lucky stars everyday. Happy Birthday to my Sunshine! <3
PS
Nine months after giving birth I attended my doula training workshop. I was so naive. I had two great birth experiences without a lot of education just luck, and an innate trust in my body. I did not read one birth book until my training. I am almost embarrassed at my lack of knowledge, especially since I consider myself to be a pretty smart girl. I just never thought that childbirth was something that you learned, you just did. But I also didn't have a negative image of birth. My own mother birthed me without drugs, I saw plenty of documentaries in college of women in Africa just squatting in the field to give birth by themselves, and I've had a few cats gives birth under my mom's bed. So I guess being somewhat ignorant may have helped me. But I say I was lucky because I happened to ask the right person about care providers. She was the one who recommended midwives (I didn't know they existed), and the Alternative Birthing Center. Had I actually done more research, I would have had a homebirth.  So there I was at my doula workshop, eager to learn and share my fabulous birth stories, and thinking that I would hear stories similar to mine. I was wrong. Story after story was about failed inductions turned to cesareans, bullied women who lost their autonomy, cesarean births and babies in the NICU, births that were not gentle, women that had less than experiences. When it came to be my turn to tell my story, I felt bad. I couldn't share my elation when 90% of the other women were traumatized. So I down played my story, and just gave the cliff notes.  I realize now, that was wrong. My story matters. It matters on so many levels, and so I am sharing it. Birth happens, and how we are treated during this passage into motherhood, matters. Whether or not you need a cesarean, if you feel like you are heard, and you are respected, then your experience will be positive. Just be sure to get a doula. :)

Henny Penny in Chicken Heaven

We lost one of our little ladies, and not to a coyote, fox, or hawk.  Henny Penny had an impacted crop, and eventually suffocated. It started weeks before she actually passed, but being this is my first time keeping chickens I was pretty ignorant. I noticed when she would come out of the coop in the morning that her chest, that I now know is called her crop, was kind of pendulous. She seemed fine though, eating, drinking and clucking around, so I just thought she had more fat than the other hens.  One day I noticed that she was sitting under the water, and not coming to greet me like they all usually do, hoping for treats.  I immediately went online and learned a lot. First I separated her from the others so that they wouldn't pick on her, and in case she was contagious. I put her in the rabbit hutch that we use for storage while I tried to figure out what was wrong.  I googled until I found forums with folks talking about what I had observed in Henny Penny, and did what they recommended and in the process learned about the digestive system of a chicken all the while wishing that I had educated myself before hand.  So Henny Penny had one of two things: an impacted crop or a sour crop. But first learn about the digestive system of a chicken on this site: http://poultrykeeper.com/chickens/health/digestive-system-chicken.html
I told my husband about what I had learned and got the remedy ready. He held her while I gave her some olive oil, then we massaged her crop, and tipped her upside down for no longer than 20 seconds so that she could breath. She did vomit, but only what she ate that day, and nothing that could have caused blockage. We did it once more, and then we let her rest. The next day I gave her some yogurt and put vitamins in her water, and she did seem somewhat better. She couldn't really walk though and standing seemed to take so much energy, and her crop still seemed full. It was another two days before my husband tried the remedy again because she did not look good. I wasn't home, but he called me minutes later to ask me where I wanted her buried....Henny Penny didn't make it. Apparently, she started to vomit as soon as he gave her the oil, but it was too much that needed to come out, and no time for her to breathe. She died in my husband's arms. The culprit did finally show itself- a piece of deer netting. Yes, I cried. I am aware of how absurd that sounds. People chop the heads off chickens so they can eat them for dinner everyday. Not my Henny Penny though, she was a pet, and she was loved just as her four remaining sisters are loved. We showed our daughters before we buried her and all my oldest had to say was, "So that's what a dead chicken looks like." Don't you love how kids tell it like it is? Yes, it is a dead chicken that was buried on the side of my dog Samantha.....and she taught me a lot. Things you can learn from a chicken: It's okay to strut your stuff, the grass is green enough on this side of the fence, wake with the sun, and get a good nights rest, and don't eat plastic.  If you are going to have backyard chickens learn about the digestive system, the reproductive system, and the possible issues that could occur ie impacted crop, so that you can remedy it quickly. R.I.P. Henny Penny.

On a more positive note, our remaining hens are getting to free range part of the day. We decided to let them out a couple of hours before sunset (their bedtime). They love it, and I love watching them! I like to sit outside on the swing with a glass of wine while they cluck, peck, strut, run, scratch, and eat whatever they find. So entertaining! We only do this while we are home, and make sure that they don't go to my neighbor's yard. So far so good. And with three dogs and three cats I appreciate my little tick eaters, and the four eggs a day that they leave for me. <3 

Lifestyle change without excuses!

I swore to myself that I would never do this, but here I am about to blog about an issue I am having.....getting healthier.  I don't want to use the words "losing weight" because we all know how that goes.  Although I do want to lose weight, I also want to keep it off, and be content with my natural body whatever that may be.  I am a medium-boned girl, with broad shoudlers and long legs. I am 5'8" and weigh 194 lbs, after losing 11 lbs. I was 205 after the holidays, and when I began my routine on January 3rd.  I have been exercising 6 days / week, doing 30-40 minutes of cardio, and have added weights to my workouts at least 3 of those days.  But what I think happens, like right now when I hit a wall, my body adjusts to my routine so I stop losing weight. Or I skip a day or maybe two, and my poor habits creep back into my life.  Habits like potato chips, and tv.... a literal couch potato!  I allow myself too many splurges because "I've been so good".  The fact is, I feel good after I workout and there really should be no excuse for treating my body poorly.  Normally, I would start to analyze myself, and ask - why don't I feel like I deserve to feel good?, why do I sabotage myself? why do I continiue to purchase potato chips, when I know I can't leave them be?  why do I eat even if I am not hungry?  Who knows, and really who cares! The fact is that this is not a quick fix, and maybe I will never weigh again what I did in high school (and I thought I was big then!), but I simply need to change my bad habits into healthy habits.  Maybe I should celebrate the fact that I have taken a big step with having (some kind of) accountability, by writing this for my few friends.  I am also in a facebook group with 3 others for accountability purposes and support, but I'm taking it to the next level with this blog.

So I am vowing to continue what I started. Cardio 6 days a week, and not just going through the motions, but really pushing myself. Strength training because I know it is good for my medium-sized bones, increases my metabolism, and will ultimately help with weight loss.  I vow to avoid the chip aisle all together! Eating a healthy, and balanced diet.  Speaking of which, I am no longer a "vegetarian" because I now eat fish, not that I am into labels.  But I will only eat wild caught Alaskan cod and only occasionally because although I "think" the fish is healthy by it's package.  I still feel bad for the fish and don't think eating animals is sustainable unless I am catching it myself in clean waters etc. but that's another blog for another day. To put it simply I like my baked cod, so I am not going to deprive myself anymore.  I will eat it with gusto all the while thanking it for it's sacrifice, so that I may have the flaky protein that I have missed for so many years.....

For my own purposes I will write what I am doing well, and things that I still need to work on to make my lifestyle healthier.

The Good:
Smoothies (thank you Vitamix!!!!)
Regular exercise with:
Elliptical (her name is Elvira) and
Kettlebell (20lbs for my birthday- thanks Mom!)
Fresh healthy fruits and vegetables- as local and organic as I can
Passion for my work, and my family

The Bad:
Eating when I am no longer hungry because it tastes too good
Eating mindlessly, while on the computer, watching tv, standing up, or in the car
Snacking from the bag or container without regard to the portion
Going to bed too late
Craving salt and grease
Drinking too much wine....like chips I can't have just one.

The Ugly:
Not loving myself for who I am, or that I will become.....having a bad attitude and negative self image.

Looking forward to Spring, and my favorite exercise- hiking with the dogs!

Peace, Love & A Healthy Lifestyle. :)